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Our group of loyal Obama supporters clicked over to Fox News to see how they were ‘covering’ the ‘news.’ Brit Hume looked like a lost child; when your reporting exists in the hyperreal, there’s nothing to do when the real comes crashing back in. We watched for a few minutes while the camera aimlessly followed a nameless blond anchor woman around the set. It wasn’t worth our time.

That’s when it started to sink in. Barack Obama is president elect of the United States of America. The words started to carry new connotations. President is no longer a word to be ashamed of. The United States of America no longer has to be a farce. I feel a little strange wearing my Planet Hollywood t-shirt today. Normally I love the irony of it. But this morning I want something more substantial than irony for breakfast. I want to wear more than irony on my sleeve.

In a way I find myself struggling just like Brit Hume–what do I do now that the real has crushed the facade? As Barack said in his acceptance speech last night (I paraphrase): “This election is not the change we seek, it is only the opportunity to make the change.”

For those of us here at Happy Mortal, let me say it: “Let the rebuild begin.” Or, in snappy talk: “Yes we can.”

Yes we can…do what? Well, that’s what we’re here to talk about. I never would have believed that so many of us would be in this together. In the hyperreal of American politics, we would have had our one night stand and gone on our merry way. Today, we wake up together with hope for the future, and a long day of work ahead of us. Somehow this changes everything, or at least it gives us the opportunity to change.

It is voting day. Most of my friends and even some of my family members are voting for Obama. I dedicate the following rant to their votes.

I am tired of old Republicans saying that young people are supporting Barack because of celebrity appeal–both his own and the celebs’ that support him. First of all, many people support Obama besides Ben Affleck and Nicole Richie. Who? Um . . . Let’s see . . .

• Jimmy Carter
• Ted Kennedy
• Colin Powell
• Madeleine Albright
• Wesley Clark
• Cornel West
• Francis Fukuyama (that deserves a whole post in itself)
• Warren Buffet
• Your Mom

Second, just because someone is a celebrity doesn’t make them an airhead (apologies to Mr. Cruz and Ms. Hilton) and just because someone is a politician doesn’t make them a smarty-head. McCain’s endorsements from Dick Cheney, George Bush, and Karl Rove don’t necessarily give him more street cred than Barack’s endorsements from Ben Stiller and Will Smith.

Furthermore (third), all of the “young people” that I know are not voting for Barack because of a celebrity’s endorsement. True, some may be swayed by Barak’s popularity, but so what? He’s popular and that makes him attractive. That is not the only reason my “young” friends are voting for him. Other reasons include:

• Willingness to engage in diplomacy
• Slightly saner energy plan
• Emphasis on education
• Running mate is not Sarah Palin
• Plan to end the war in Iraq

Fourth and finally, don’t slam “young” people just because you don’t like who they are voting for. They are the future and you should be glad they are getting involved. On that note, I still love and respect you grandpa and grandma, even though you are voting for John McCain.

Please forgive my sarcasm and malaise on a day that feels so important to so many. It’s a day when the people get to speak. Instead of meeting in basements and making alliances, instead of stockpiling weapons and recruiting people to fight for a cause, Americans head out to the polling booths today to enact a gentler more civil kind of revolution. At least that’s the facade.

In this theme park we all get to cast our vote, but not all of them are counted. Scratch that, in this theme park all of us get to vote if we can afford to stand in line for 12 hours while we are skipping work to do so. We get our votes counted if there’s no chad left hanging. We get to participate in a government by the people, for the people, if the state supreme court decides that our vote gets counted.

On the morning of this historic day, I can’t help but temper my hope with questions. Do we have free elections if those eligible to vote aren’t allowed to vote? Are elections free if our votes aren’t counted? And finally, the biggest question of all. This goes out to all of my theme park buddies who, like me, are so entertained by this facade. Do we care if we’re free as long as we’re entertained?

I’m tired of all the politicking. The giant pictures of politician’s “pore-less” photoshopped faces + The continuous double-talking + Twice talking continuously + The approved advertisements (I’ve seen very few ads of any kind that have the right to call themselves approved). Let’s just split the difference and look at the two halves of a non-existent whole.

“A government of the people.” Who said that? Ahh well, never mind. If you were to give me a penny for my thoughts I’d say whose people? My people?

If a black man traveling at the speed of light passes through Harvard, picks up a wife, two kids and makes a quick stop in Scranton (Pennsylvania) to pick up an old insider, and an old white guy travels slow and steady through the navy, picks up two wives, bunches of kids, a cold beauty queen and makes stops at several of his houses, then who arrives at the “of my people” first?

Argh, political math. Two times the talk for an audience that’s half as interested as they should be. So what’s the answer?

One penny + (talking(2) x ads + pretty faces – reality + lots of money + some guns – the race/gender card) ÷ me = Let’s see. One, carry the two, divided by… nope… add the two. Did I remember to subtract? Hmmmm. Got it! Now to double-check my work.

Darn-it. I don’t have the solution. I never was good at math. Maybe that’s why I didn’t make it into Harvard. Right Lawrence Summers? Or maybe it was just because I didn’t have enough money.