In this country, a republic, I have been taught that my vote is important, that my health is up to me and my doctors and pharmacists pocket book, that I shouldn’t pay “high” taxes. That I deserve to have a house, 2.5 kids, a dog and two vehicles; one suv, one sedan. A summer house, a yearly vacation, and tax free luxuries. That I shouldn’t have to pay for criminals to stay in jail, or lazy women to go on welfare. That I should work a 40 hour work week to get by, an 80 hour work week to succeed. And that I should accept the GMO, pesticide sprayed food that the government provides me to keep me voting, paying low taxes and working my 80 hour work week so I can take an 80(?) hour vacation week while thinking about my 2.5 kids, house and the cost of gas for my suv and sedan. Did you follow that?

Me either. Here’s the thing. I used to feel strongly about voting. Especially in this last election. As a US expat who has returned to the states and been living here for almost ten years, I felt it was my patriotic duty and an honor to vote in every election that I have received a ballot for. Spending up to two or three days researching every candidate and issue that was to be voted on or for. But I must admit, I’m feeling very jaded.

Not that I am disappointed in our president. Or that G.W.’s office time suddenly turned me against government. My disenchantment with our political system has been a slow process starting with my father’s stories of being drafted to the current state that our socialistic, tea throwing, democtratic country has become.

And to be perfectly honest about it I’m the one to blame.

Now before I get to what I am going to do about it let me ask you one question? How often do you vote every year? For me the answer is about once or twice. That is 0.0054794 times a day. (If I am generous and go with the two times a year.) Okay, I lied. I have a second question. How many times do you go shopping every year? Not sure? How about every week? My week consists of at least one grocery store trip. Often two because I forgot something. How about clothing, movies, dinning out, gas, coffee… The list keeps going. So I’m going to say that I probably shop at least 4 times a week.

Ready to hear how that plays into my new way of thinking?

I may live in a country that is a republic, and it may go by the nick name of democracy, and some people are afraid that it is on the verge of being a transpolitical sociopublicrat. And, whatever this country may be to some, there is one thing that I know about it for sure. It is a capitalistic country. You know how we can tell? We stayed the same during republican and democratic president alike. We have withstood wars, and mother nature. But the one thing that scares us all, that really changes how we live, the identity that when ripped away causes us to forget who we are and have to figure it all out again is a RECESSION. Yup, we can fight about politics all we want, but the one thing that really gets our patriot hats, burnt bras and rubber band cause bracelets in a twist is money.

So what does that mean for me?

It means that instead of putting so much stock into my vote and so much worry into the aftermath I have moved on to something that makes a difference. Shopping.

I’m not talking about racking up debt or silly spree’s. I’m talking about my day to day spending of money. Who is it going to? Is it going to support a cause that I agree with? Is it going to further a company that lines up with my ideals? Is it going to support the local economy? Is is going to a product that is kind to the earth and animals? Each one of these decisions is a vote. Each dollar I (and you) spend is being marked on giant ballots somewhere behind the economies doors. And what I think about now is that I vote 0.569863 times a day. At least. That can make a difference. And that is what I want to do.

How do you decide where you shop? Does your social paradigm factor in? I’d love to hear your thoughts on your shopping habits.

As for me, I’m handing over my dollar bill and yes, I would like change.

I often work long hours. Lunches and breaks aren’t scheduled and certainly aren’t guaranteed. The pace is generally fairly hectic. Some months require me to work weekends and frequent 30-hour shifts. It is not particularly rare for me to forget to go to the bathroom in the midst of it all. I love it. What I love more? SLEEP.

This month I get the best of both worlds: Shift Work!

This means that I know when to show up and I know when I get to leave. I’m working four 8-hour shifts/week and life is good! Busy shifts with interesting things going on, but still plenty of time to sleep. Plenty of time, that is, in theory!

Today I stopped to reflect on all I have to be grateful for in my life, and I found myself completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of beautiful and positive aspects of my life. From the simple to the profound, from the warm weather today to the love of family and the satisfaction of being in a career that I love – life is good and I cannot deny that I have been blessed. It got me thinking, how does my gratitude for these blessings show up in my life? What does gratitude look like, day in, day out?

It strikes me that one way to put gratitude into action is to respect the things that I have been given. When I receive a gift I am truly grateful for, I put it to good use and I take good care of it.

It has come to my attention that I have not been taking very good care of my sleep hygiene. Even when given this beautiful opportunity to get enough sleep, I just don’t. My time schedule unfortunately ends up looking quite similar to that of the poor schmuck in the cartoon above.  And I have no excuses! No kids, no pain, no true insomnia, no loud neighbors, nothing … just a love of staying up late.

Am I alone out there? Do you get enough sleep? Could you if you tried? If you do, how do you go about it? Does it come naturally? If you don’t, what gets in your way?

I cannot say how long it will last. But today I am going to make a commitment to show my gratitude for this beautiful schedule by taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity to do what I love … SLEEP.

My Wednesday reflection on service and my recent experience in the ER (from both sides of the curtain) got me thinking about pain.

Simply put my job as a physician can be boiled down to two primary objectives – 1. To treat treat/cure disease, and 2. To alleviate suffering. And, of course, in the application of each of these there is the ever present imperative to “benefit and yet not to harm.” Based on my observations thus far, there are three primary reasons people come to the ER – 1. They come for treatment, 2. They come for reassurance, 3. They come for pain pills.

PAIN PILLS: THE BANE OF AN ER PHYSICIAN’S EXISTENCE

It sucks to feel used, it is no fun to be lied to. It sucks to be in pain, it is no fun to be ignored. And thus the conflict that gets played out hundreds, nay thousands of times in American emergency rooms each day. The classic dilemma of distinguishing between those who are “drug seeking” and those who are in “real pain,” begs any number of questions. Who is to say they are different people? Whose right is it to determine or judge the level of pain another individual is experiencing? Is all pain bad? Does pain always need to be treated? Are narcotics over-used? Are narcotics under-used? Is it a doctor’s job to relieve patients of all pain and at what cost?

These questions and more have led me to a broader reflection on the meaning of pain in our culture. What follows is a collection of scenarios, quotes, and common sayings related to or inspired by pain. I am curious to hear what the topic brings up for you.

• “No pain, no gain.”

• Narcotics: Illegal, Prescribed, Controlled, Addictive, Pain-alleviating, Sleep-inducing, Potentially-lethal, Expected.

• The brand name of prescription narcotics and muscle relaxants are also household names: Vicodin, Percocet, Flexeril.

• Most people I know have been prescribed a narcotic for one reason or another at one point on their life.

• The juxtaposition of a sweating writhing man passing a kidney stone rating his pain at a 6-7/10 and a young woman with a sprained ankle resting comfortably in bed rating it at a 10/10 and demanding narcotics.

• “A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into an exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.” -Prefontaine

• An elderly woman is dying. Her disease causes her severe pain even at rest and makes her feel as though she is suffocating. Morphine could help alleviate both, but she refusing saying, “I don’t want to get addicted.”

• The husband of a young woman with chronic headaches threatens to kill an ER physician for not giving his wife more Dilaudid stating,”You are obligated to treat her pain.”

• “Cutters” – inflicting physical pain on themselves to relieve existential, emotional, psychological distress.

Merely the body’s messenger of injury and imbalance?

Perhaps a villian to be slayed at all costs?

Or is it a virtue to be endured and even relished?

Discuss.

So popupstorybook and I are having a baby. One of the many awesome/crazy/weird things we get to do together is name our baby. What does it mean to name a human? How do you choose a good name? I have no clue. The criteria that I have been using include: a name I like, a name that doesn’t remind me of someone stupid, a name with significance (family or otherwise), and a name that is within certain social parameters (i.e. a name that doesn’t invite ostracizing).

One thing I have discovered in this whole naming process is that people love to name! One of the first questions we get when people find out we are having a baby is, “Do you have a name picked out?” When that question is on the table we have a choice. We can a) deflect and say we haven’t narrowed it down or b) offer up a couple names on the shortlist and watch the person struggle to react in an appropriate way. [Side note: being pregnant affords all kinds of opportunities for social experimentation, like observing how many people will touch a stranger's belly without asking].

Whether we go with option a or b, 90% of the time the person throws in their two cents. “I’ve always liked the name Chopper.” “Bukelele is such a cute name.” etc.  Why is naming such a kick? Even when I was a kid I was always jealous of Adam in the biblical story when he got to name all the animals. BTW, I think I would have done a better job–the deer mouse!? At least Spanish Adam had the sense to name it ratón ciervo.

I’m all up in it. So I thought I’d throw some of it into the cyber womb and see if it gives birth to any other ideas . . . Your thoughts?

First off, I found myself responding to the film in ways I didn’t expect. Avatar wasn’t a story about how amazing it is to switch consciousness between bodies. If it had been, I’d have been bored for 3+ hours. Instead, I found myself getting drawn into a world that still had some “green” left in it.

This was a compelling story line, not because it reawakened some smoldering environmentalism in me, but because it invited me into another possibility of world.

I couldn’t help but read the film through the lens of Heidegger’s language of Enframing. In a Question Concerning Technology, Heidegger suggests that the posture of human being has been taken over by technology. We don’t see the world anymore when we look at it, we can’t. Rather, in the place of trees we see lumber. Rivers become hydroelectric power. Animals become meat, etc.

This Enframing extends even to human being: as we grow accustomed to ordering the world (into what he calls a “standing reserve”) we begin to re-order ourselves as well. If we’re not careful, we become resources too.

According to Heidegger, this is our destiny. Cameron challenges this outcome, not by disagreeing with Heidegger, but by offering a vision of a different world. This vision serves as an interruption to our frame. It creates the space for us to shift our posture toward the world.

The question remains: what frame do we choose for our world?

Maybe it’s the fact that I just turned thirty, or became a father. I’m not sure, but something has got me thinking a lot lately about what I’m worth. And I’m not just talking about the life insurance policy that I keep putting off.

Everywhere I look, it seems that I’m quantizing things. Twenty cents for the hummus I just washed down the drain. Two dollars for letting the bananas rot in the fruit bowl. Fifteen dollars, one cubit foot of waste, thirty-two minutes, forty wipes, and 1/8 tube of cream for a box full of diaper changes.

It doesn’t stop there. Units of time, Interactions, relationships, they feel more and more like sortable data.

So I can’t help but wonder, am I a quantity? Is that what my life has been reduced to? Fifity years and their corresponding earning power?

That’s what I wonder when I should be sleeping.

Yup, getting the list out earlier this month. Yay for me. Perhaps this bodes well for the upcoming posts in 2010. Probably not but perhaps.

So in the interest of full disclosure, Januarys list is not as complete as I would like it to be. I’ve been feeling a change in the air lately. An artistic change that I am desiring in my music, but I’m not finding anyone who is fulfilling my unspoken and unwordable desire. So instead I opted for a few songs that are almost there, songs I can dance to and songs that you just can’t help but sing along to.

January

Whatever You Like (Single Version) – Anya Marina

I would be lying if I said that after hearing T.I. perform this song I didn’t imagine someone (maybe him) saying this to me. And hearing Anya sing it makes me happy because now I   also want the opportunity to say it to someone (maybe T.I.)

Promise – CocoRosie

Just recently discovered this duo and am really digging them. This may be sacrilege, but I feel like there are pinches of Lauren Hill attitude in here. Add to that  a large dash of innocence and a much less developed     sense of rhythm (in a pleasant way) and this song is an interesting recipe.

Bourgeois Shangri-La – Miss Li

Yes, this is the newest nano commercial song. And no, it doesn’t make me feel like a sell out. (If this disturbs you do not continue down this list.) I can’t help but dance to this song. And yes, this is what I   felt like when I went to a private college.

Japan – CocoRosie

Some funny lines about going places. And try listening to the song and not singing the tag line throughout the whole day. I dare you.

Sleepyhead – Passion Pit

Seems otherworldly and juvenile  in the best way.

Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl - Broken Social Scene

Great mellow sound,  sprinkles of banjo and her voice is so great.

The Iliad – Tapes ‘n Tapes

Not sure what I like about this song.  Maybe it’s because it reminds me of being in high school and listening to boys play guitar in their bands or singing around the campfire. Yup, that’s it.

Believe E.S.P. – Deerhoof

This song has just the perfect amount of cowbell. Dark and upbeat at the same time.

Boom – Anjulie

Love the gritty sounds in the background with her smooth vocals over top.

Love Letter to Japan – The Bird and the Bees

Quirky pop. Pleasant.

Love Story – Taylor Swift

( You can’t say I didn’t warn you.)   I was a hater. But this last year won me over. I can’t listen to a Taylor Swift song without singing along at the top of my lungs. Try it. You might like it too.

Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink

Of all the “pop/rock” artist out there, Pink has some of the most honest lyrics. Yes, I’ve been here. And I love how she can mix strength and vulnerability into her songs.

You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

Another one. These last songs are here simply for sing out loud and dance like crazy fun and enjoyment. That’s what I’m doing right now. (The dancing isn’t so great sitting, but at least I’m          keeping the beat.)

For Your Entertainment – Adam Lambert

Think what you will of his AMA performance, this song is just satisfying trashy pop and we need that. Plus it totally harkens back to the eighties in that hair metal way. Pass the eyeliner and    blue eyeshadow.

Hot Mess – Cobra Starship

I love Cobra Starship!  And I’m not a gambling person, but I would put money on the fact that these guys are fully aware that they are satirizing pop music.

Unstoppable – Kat DeLuna & Lil Wayne

If I were still into the club scene, this would be one of those songs that I just couldn’t stay on the sidelines for. It must be danced to.

Yes, this list was full of pop music. And no, I haven’t sold out. (Is anything selling in this economy?) However, you were warned both in my first post and early on in the list. There is no genre of music that I don’t love. So feel free to pick through the list, choose the “cool alternative music”. Or just listen to it all and relish in the fabulousness that is music.

I recently went to sell some of my clothes at the Buffalo Exchange in Seattle’s University District. I took with me two full bags of clothes–shoes, shirts, pants, sweaters. Before the woman behind the counter sifted through the goods, she informed me that she would only be taking what the store currently needed, and that the store only traded in the most current styles. Fine with me.

I left the counter, browsed, and came back to find that she had only selected two items. A pair of shoes and a cardigan from Urban Outfitters. I got $22 store credit. Fine with me. Before I left though, she said, “You have some good basic styles, but we are looking for the most current versions.” This was not fine with me.

I don’t care about the clothes’ fashion classification, but it seemed she was trying to make me feel better by giving a stamp of approval.  Don’t feel bad, the Buffalo Exchange employee says that your clothes have good basic style. Well guess what? Your mom has good basic style. We just can’t accept her because we trade only in the most current versions.

This mild annoyance got me to thinking about where we get our sense of success or failure when it comes to fashion. I’m not talking about function, like, “these underwear prevent my burlap shorts from giving me a rash.” I’m talking about the social cues that lead us to say “damn, these burlap shorts look fly! (This rash is so worth it).”  And don’t tell me that you came out of the womb with a fully developed sense of what looks great. I have some photos of your feathered mullet  (your emo fedora) to prove it.  So how about it? What are the voices in your life that help you decide what (not) to wear?

And now that his top-secrety-international-copyright-treaty is leaking like the titanic all over the internet (maybe that’s why he wants to kill it), he’s putting himself in the position as the man who might kill the internet.

This is perhaps the most egregious sin that I could imagine a president committing. The world wide web is perhaps the single greatest achievement of the human race to date. Wow, did I just say that?

Hyperbole aside, if this treaty passes, I see three options, all of them with big lose potential.

1. In three months time it will show itself to be completely and utterly unenforceable.
2. It gets overturned in a year by the supreme court for violating almost every intention of the bill of rights and the constitution.
3. It succeeds, and the internet as we know it dies a cruel and unusual death.

Stop the insanity folks. Pirated movies and music, DRM, and other anachronistic copyright fears are not worth the possibility of losing the single greatest platform for the freedom of speech and information, for the dissemination of knowledge network known to human being since the history of human being. Oh, and did I mention the fact that its also a nearly instant and global network for communication and business and entertainment?

Hands off folks. There are other ways to get your inner Big Brother off. ‘Nuff said.

Here’s a list of links to sites that talk about it in more detail. Please peruse before the bill is passed and all links go dead…

An open letter to the EU

Michael Geist Blog

Boing Boing

Kiwi Blog: A New Zealand perspective

Senator Bayh Responds on ACTA: From Electronic Frontier Foundation

If you have any other interesting links, or care to share feedback, feel free to respond.

What? November music now? (you might be saying to yourself.) Yes. Now. There’s still a solid twelve days left in November. That’s almost two whole weeks.

And yes, I tend to procrastinate. But I also wait until I have a perfect number of songs that really hit me before burning my CD. And last night I found the last one.

So here it is folks. Enjoy.

November 09

I’m a Stranger Here Myself – Masha Qrella  (Fun, quirky and I love the title.)

Hollow Talk – Choir of Young Believers  (Spiritual and soul stirring.)

After Every Party I Die – IAMX  (I used to feel this way because I couldn’t wait for the next party to begin, now it’s just because I’m old. But I still like a good party.)

Pink & Sour – Califone  (When I first heard this song I hated and loved it all at the same time. Which made me think, I need to listen to that again and again. It still stirs up mixed emotions in me, but now it’s mostly love.)

A Boy and a Girl – Polyphony & Stephen Layton  (A friend of mine recently performed this in his choir and I love it. So romantic and happily melancholy.)

Sinnerman (Felix Da Housecat’s Heavenly House Mix) – Nina Simone & Felix Da Housecat  (This song is purrfect. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. But seriously, Ms Simone and a good house beat. What more could you ask for. And you’ve probably seen this song in a movie/t.v. ad, but it’s worth listening to without the visuals. Just let loose and dance.)

Peace of Mind – Mindy Smith  (I’ve felt exactly what she is singing and I’ve wanted to ask for exactly what she is asking for.)

Gifted (feat. Kanye West, Santigold, & Lykke Li) – N.A.S.A.  (I usually like Kanye’s stuff and I love the addition of Lykke Li.)

Living on Video 2k6 the Original (Original Extended) – Trans X  (Yes, this song was on Dancing with the Stars last week. And I loved it. So pull out your old ray bans, hightops, silver lame stirrup pants, and do the robot.)

Sender – Pinback  (Love Pinback. And this song is a bit darker than the other songs I have. Which I think is good for them.)

Aly, Walk With Me – The Raveonettes  (Yup, more Raveonettes. Just love their sound.)

Mr. Grieves – Pixies  (And again, more Pixies. Twisty, catchy, this song sounds like an 80’s pop version of The Doors. Love it.)

Your Ex-Lover is Dead – Stars  (Love Stars. I recommend all of their music. Your mind takes little daydream trips as you imagine the story that goes along with everyone of their songs.)

Cycling Trivialities (Radio Edit) – Jose Gonzalez  (He has a beautiful voice. And the title is amazing.)

Just Like Honey – The Jesus and Mary Chain  (More 80’s music. Sounds like a last dance prom song.)

24-25 – Kings of Convenience  (This song is beautiful. And is hiding something very sad.)

Ghosts – Ladytron  (Sounds a little like The Cranberries. “There’s a ghost in me who wants to say I’m sorry. Doesn’t mean I’m sorry.”  Yup, brilliant.)

I’m Good, I’m Gone – Lykke Li  (’Popish’, with a good twist.)

Listen, enjoy and this month give thanks for music that stirs the soul, inspires the mind, and moves the body.

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