In this country, a republic, I have been taught that my vote is important, that my health is up to me and my doctors and pharmacists pocket book, that I shouldn’t pay “high” taxes. That I deserve to have a house, 2.5 kids, a dog and two vehicles; one suv, one sedan. A summer house, a yearly vacation, and tax free luxuries. That I shouldn’t have to pay for criminals to stay in jail, or lazy women to go on welfare. That I should work a 40 hour work week to get by, an 80 hour work week to succeed. And that I should accept the GMO, pesticide sprayed food that the government provides me to keep me voting, paying low taxes and working my 80 hour work week so I can take an 80(?) hour vacation week while thinking about my 2.5 kids, house and the cost of gas for my suv and sedan. Did you follow that?

Me either. Here’s the thing. I used to feel strongly about voting. Especially in this last election. As a US expat who has returned to the states and been living here for almost ten years, I felt it was my patriotic duty and an honor to vote in every election that I have received a ballot for. Spending up to two or three days researching every candidate and issue that was to be voted on or for. But I must admit, I’m feeling very jaded.

Not that I am disappointed in our president. Or that G.W.’s office time suddenly turned me against government. My disenchantment with our political system has been a slow process starting with my father’s stories of being drafted to the current state that our socialistic, tea throwing, democtratic country has become.

And to be perfectly honest about it I’m the one to blame.

Now before I get to what I am going to do about it let me ask you one question? How often do you vote every year? For me the answer is about once or twice. That is 0.0054794 times a day. (If I am generous and go with the two times a year.) Okay, I lied. I have a second question. How many times do you go shopping every year? Not sure? How about every week? My week consists of at least one grocery store trip. Often two because I forgot something. How about clothing, movies, dinning out, gas, coffee… The list keeps going. So I’m going to say that I probably shop at least 4 times a week.

Ready to hear how that plays into my new way of thinking?

I may live in a country that is a republic, and it may go by the nick name of democracy, and some people are afraid that it is on the verge of being a transpolitical sociopublicrat. And, whatever this country may be to some, there is one thing that I know about it for sure. It is a capitalistic country. You know how we can tell? We stayed the same during republican and democratic president alike. We have withstood wars, and mother nature. But the one thing that scares us all, that really changes how we live, the identity that when ripped away causes us to forget who we are and have to figure it all out again is a RECESSION. Yup, we can fight about politics all we want, but the one thing that really gets our patriot hats, burnt bras and rubber band cause bracelets in a twist is money.

So what does that mean for me?

It means that instead of putting so much stock into my vote and so much worry into the aftermath I have moved on to something that makes a difference. Shopping.

I’m not talking about racking up debt or silly spree’s. I’m talking about my day to day spending of money. Who is it going to? Is it going to support a cause that I agree with? Is it going to further a company that lines up with my ideals? Is it going to support the local economy? Is is going to a product that is kind to the earth and animals? Each one of these decisions is a vote. Each dollar I (and you) spend is being marked on giant ballots somewhere behind the economies doors. And what I think about now is that I vote 0.569863 times a day. At least. That can make a difference. And that is what I want to do.

How do you decide where you shop? Does your social paradigm factor in? I’d love to hear your thoughts on your shopping habits.

As for me, I’m handing over my dollar bill and yes, I would like change.

Two weekends ago in yoga training we discussed the Yamas, the five Moral restraints. The first one is Ahimsa, or nonviolence. Of course this brought up several questions and discussions as to what nonviolence actually means.

To go veggie or not, to go organic or not, to be a fruitarian, to sweep the ground in front of you as you walk so as not to kill any insects, to buy only items and clothing that are made in people friendly work environments. And that is just a few of the concepts that automatically spring to mind.

So I’m curious. What does living a nonviolent life mean to you?

…a blessed distraction from the hours of studying I have been involved in. After hours and hours of the calm and meditative music I’ve been listening to while trying to soak in pages of anatomy this list is my happy escape. Every hour I give myself a one song break, plug into my nano (Lola) and dance and sing away the mind haze.

February Music

The Hill – Bombay Bicycle Club

I like the hint of accent he has while sing/talking. You don’t usually hear peoples accents in songs and that’s what makes this sound different to me.

Painter In Your Pocket – Destroyer

Transom swears he’s heard this song before performed by someone else, and I just feel like I’ve heard it before. Which is why I like it. I think it has some Paper Astronomer sounds to it.

If Nothing Happened – PaperDoll

Yup. Another commercial song. The only thing good about t.v. ads lately is their music. This is from the Vicks sick day commercial if you were wondering.

Poster of a Girl – Metric

A great Canadian group. Go Canada! (That’s for good music and the olympics.) These folks used to work with Broken Social Scene, which I had on my last list, but decided they wanted to produce a different sound. And it’s awesome. They also sing the song “Help I’m Alive” which I had on a list last year. And I would highly recommend it as well.

Use It – The New Pornographers

I’ve never been a fan of this group (however always been a fan of their name). But this song totally caught me by surprise. I love it.

Follow the Arrow – Human & Rosi Golan

Just a happy simple song. Feels like it belongs in a commercial or indie movie.

Vertigo – Anya Marina

Another song that sounds like it should be on a commercial. Probably a phone ad.

Horchata – Vampire Weekend

Love Vampire Weekends last album. Happy this new album is still fun and playful like the last. Taking everyday things and making songs around them makes me happy.

Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare) [feat. MGMT & Ratatat] – Kid Cudi

I’ve liked this song since it came out, but just haven’t put it on one of my mixes yet. So here it is. It seemed personally relevant. Socio/economically relevant too.

Glitter In the Air – Pink

Another Pink song. She really put something good, real, and amazing together with this last album. And if you haven’t yet seen her Grammy performance please youtube it immediately. It was mind blowing and awe inspiring.

Hey Baby – Stephen Marley featuring Mos Def

Offspring of Bob. I listened to a lot of Bob Marley music in highschool and this brings back some of the same mellow vibes with a more refined sound. Definitely a good “romantic moments” song. And Mos Def is great too.

Major Tom – Shiny Toy Guns

I first heard this song on a Lincoln commercial. I had to have it. I searched for months. Not available on itunes. No one even knew who performed it. There were rumors of Cat Power. And then finally, a light from heaven and it was available on itunes! And performed by Shiny Toy Guns. I love them. (Missed their $5 concert here a few years ago by a day. Poster misprint!) This song is by far my favorite on this mix. Close your eyes while dancing to this one.

Bad Romance – Lady GaGa

Yup. Also a big Lady GaGa fan. And no, she isn’t the next Madonna. GaGa does for music and art what Madonna did for music and sex. So while she does push the boundaries and she is sexually inclined she is not removing the musical virginity of the “like a virgin” masses. She is opening our eyes to personal expression, oddity and the fame game and I love it.

Home – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

I had to end the mix with this song. It’s so goofy, happy and sincerely romantic. I dedicate this song to Transom. And the lyrics are awesome. “Well hot and heavy/pumpkin pie/chocolate candy/jesus christ/there ain’t nothing please me more than you”. Fabulous!

Well, that was a 14 song break. Now back to empowered thoracic inhalation, constricted thoracic inhalation, paradoxical inhalation, abdomino-diaphragmatic inhalation, and thoraco-diaphragmatic inhalation. But maybe just one more one song break first. .

Yup, getting the list out earlier this month. Yay for me. Perhaps this bodes well for the upcoming posts in 2010. Probably not but perhaps.

So in the interest of full disclosure, Januarys list is not as complete as I would like it to be. I’ve been feeling a change in the air lately. An artistic change that I am desiring in my music, but I’m not finding anyone who is fulfilling my unspoken and unwordable desire. So instead I opted for a few songs that are almost there, songs I can dance to and songs that you just can’t help but sing along to.

January

Whatever You Like (Single Version) – Anya Marina

I would be lying if I said that after hearing T.I. perform this song I didn’t imagine someone (maybe him) saying this to me. And hearing Anya sing it makes me happy because now I   also want the opportunity to say it to someone (maybe T.I.)

Promise – CocoRosie

Just recently discovered this duo and am really digging them. This may be sacrilege, but I feel like there are pinches of Lauren Hill attitude in here. Add to that  a large dash of innocence and a much less developed     sense of rhythm (in a pleasant way) and this song is an interesting recipe.

Bourgeois Shangri-La – Miss Li

Yes, this is the newest nano commercial song. And no, it doesn’t make me feel like a sell out. (If this disturbs you do not continue down this list.) I can’t help but dance to this song. And yes, this is what I   felt like when I went to a private college.

Japan – CocoRosie

Some funny lines about going places. And try listening to the song and not singing the tag line throughout the whole day. I dare you.

Sleepyhead – Passion Pit

Seems otherworldly and juvenile  in the best way.

Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl - Broken Social Scene

Great mellow sound,  sprinkles of banjo and her voice is so great.

The Iliad – Tapes ‘n Tapes

Not sure what I like about this song.  Maybe it’s because it reminds me of being in high school and listening to boys play guitar in their bands or singing around the campfire. Yup, that’s it.

Believe E.S.P. – Deerhoof

This song has just the perfect amount of cowbell. Dark and upbeat at the same time.

Boom – Anjulie

Love the gritty sounds in the background with her smooth vocals over top.

Love Letter to Japan – The Bird and the Bees

Quirky pop. Pleasant.

Love Story – Taylor Swift

( You can’t say I didn’t warn you.)   I was a hater. But this last year won me over. I can’t listen to a Taylor Swift song without singing along at the top of my lungs. Try it. You might like it too.

Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink

Of all the “pop/rock” artist out there, Pink has some of the most honest lyrics. Yes, I’ve been here. And I love how she can mix strength and vulnerability into her songs.

You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

Another one. These last songs are here simply for sing out loud and dance like crazy fun and enjoyment. That’s what I’m doing right now. (The dancing isn’t so great sitting, but at least I’m          keeping the beat.)

For Your Entertainment – Adam Lambert

Think what you will of his AMA performance, this song is just satisfying trashy pop and we need that. Plus it totally harkens back to the eighties in that hair metal way. Pass the eyeliner and    blue eyeshadow.

Hot Mess – Cobra Starship

I love Cobra Starship!  And I’m not a gambling person, but I would put money on the fact that these guys are fully aware that they are satirizing pop music.

Unstoppable – Kat DeLuna & Lil Wayne

If I were still into the club scene, this would be one of those songs that I just couldn’t stay on the sidelines for. It must be danced to.

Yes, this list was full of pop music. And no, I haven’t sold out. (Is anything selling in this economy?) However, you were warned both in my first post and early on in the list. There is no genre of music that I don’t love. So feel free to pick through the list, choose the “cool alternative music”. Or just listen to it all and relish in the fabulousness that is music.

What? November music now? (you might be saying to yourself.) Yes. Now. There’s still a solid twelve days left in November. That’s almost two whole weeks.

And yes, I tend to procrastinate. But I also wait until I have a perfect number of songs that really hit me before burning my CD. And last night I found the last one.

So here it is folks. Enjoy.

November 09

I’m a Stranger Here Myself – Masha Qrella  (Fun, quirky and I love the title.)

Hollow Talk – Choir of Young Believers  (Spiritual and soul stirring.)

After Every Party I Die – IAMX  (I used to feel this way because I couldn’t wait for the next party to begin, now it’s just because I’m old. But I still like a good party.)

Pink & Sour – Califone  (When I first heard this song I hated and loved it all at the same time. Which made me think, I need to listen to that again and again. It still stirs up mixed emotions in me, but now it’s mostly love.)

A Boy and a Girl – Polyphony & Stephen Layton  (A friend of mine recently performed this in his choir and I love it. So romantic and happily melancholy.)

Sinnerman (Felix Da Housecat’s Heavenly House Mix) – Nina Simone & Felix Da Housecat  (This song is purrfect. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. But seriously, Ms Simone and a good house beat. What more could you ask for. And you’ve probably seen this song in a movie/t.v. ad, but it’s worth listening to without the visuals. Just let loose and dance.)

Peace of Mind – Mindy Smith  (I’ve felt exactly what she is singing and I’ve wanted to ask for exactly what she is asking for.)

Gifted (feat. Kanye West, Santigold, & Lykke Li) – N.A.S.A.  (I usually like Kanye’s stuff and I love the addition of Lykke Li.)

Living on Video 2k6 the Original (Original Extended) – Trans X  (Yes, this song was on Dancing with the Stars last week. And I loved it. So pull out your old ray bans, hightops, silver lame stirrup pants, and do the robot.)

Sender – Pinback  (Love Pinback. And this song is a bit darker than the other songs I have. Which I think is good for them.)

Aly, Walk With Me – The Raveonettes  (Yup, more Raveonettes. Just love their sound.)

Mr. Grieves – Pixies  (And again, more Pixies. Twisty, catchy, this song sounds like an 80’s pop version of The Doors. Love it.)

Your Ex-Lover is Dead – Stars  (Love Stars. I recommend all of their music. Your mind takes little daydream trips as you imagine the story that goes along with everyone of their songs.)

Cycling Trivialities (Radio Edit) – Jose Gonzalez  (He has a beautiful voice. And the title is amazing.)

Just Like Honey – The Jesus and Mary Chain  (More 80’s music. Sounds like a last dance prom song.)

24-25 – Kings of Convenience  (This song is beautiful. And is hiding something very sad.)

Ghosts – Ladytron  (Sounds a little like The Cranberries. “There’s a ghost in me who wants to say I’m sorry. Doesn’t mean I’m sorry.”  Yup, brilliant.)

I’m Good, I’m Gone – Lykke Li  (’Popish’, with a good twist.)

Listen, enjoy and this month give thanks for music that stirs the soul, inspires the mind, and moves the body.

]]> http://happymortal.com/2009/11/november-09-music-is/feed/ 2 http://happymortal.com/2009/10/october-music-is/ http://happymortal.com/2009/10/october-music-is/#comments Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:09:31 +0000 pebble http://happymortal.com/?p=835

I am a huge fan of music. I am that neighbor you have that cranks up her stereo, sings along at the top of her lungs and dances around her apartment while wearing her pajamas. And by the way, I play a wicked air guitar. I’ve even been known to pull out an air tambourine.

I would also consider myself a music snob. Not in the ‘listen to that harpsichord in the background, now that’s classical music’  kind of way, but in the ‘I love every genre of music and each one has it’s time and place and if you disagree than you are ridiculous’ kind of way.

And it is this love of music that draws me to itunes every month to create a monthly CD. I peruse pop music, analyze alternative, check the country cache, hit the hip-hop section and read through the rock. I listen to old and new songs and purchase depending on my mood. Then I take a few minutes (read at least an hour) to put them in an order that feels right to me and burn my disc.

I’ve done this every month for about the last year or so. (It’s also fun to listen back through the cd’s and see what moods I was in during the past months.) And I thought it would be fun to share my monthly cd’s here and let you guys share some of your current favorites. I love new song recommendations. So with no further ado, here is my October list.

October

Ashamed – Deer Tick (the end of this song is great)

Breeze – Apollo Sunshine (light and magical)

Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed) – The Raveonettes (said so simply and so beautifully)

Where Is My Mind – Pixies (i’m not sure where my mind is, but this song is so good I’m not looking for it until the song is over)

I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas (make fun, but if you listen to this song and feel like it’s not gonna be a good night I’ll be surprised. Just don’t watch the video. Bad.)

Heavy Cross – Gossip (the cd cover caught my attention and the music kept it)

La Familia – Mirah (another light and magical feeling song and but with a darker twist)

It Will Follow The Rain – The Tallest Man On Earth (this style of music has won me over and taken my soul)

Road – Nick Drake (mellow)

Laughing With God – Regina Spektor (not sure if I believe in god, but this song sums up some of my feelings when I’m leaning toward the yes side)

Drop a Coin – Matthew Santos (this song is sitting in a dark bar, alone, drinking a martini and smoking a cigarette, and Matthew is on stage singing)

Blue Skies – Noah and the Whale (subtly hopeful)

My Will Is Good – Port O’Brien, Cambria Goodwin & Van Pierszalowski (just mellow twisty fun)

Bang On – The Breeders (i love this kind of music right now)

Boys Wanna Be Her – Peaches (um, yeah they do)

Savior – Rise Against (this is on the radio a lot right now. if you don’t think of someone instantly when you hear this song than we haven’t lived similar lives)

Crown of Age – The Ettes (love this song. “it’s harder than you know, to get where you belong/ somehow you’re always there/somehow it’s always wrong/as far as I can see, that much will never change.” Genius.)

Maybe you’ll find something you like. Maybe you won’t. But I’m gonna try to post my monthly lists and would love to hear any songs you guys are currently into as well. Rock/dance/air guitar on friends.

]]> http://happymortal.com/2009/10/october-music-is/feed/ 5 http://happymortal.com/2009/04/flu-du-jour/ http://happymortal.com/2009/04/flu-du-jour/#comments Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:19:02 +0000 pebble http://happymortal.com/?p=715

Now being the slightly hypochondriac person that I am (my husband would laugh raucously at this understatement) I was fully wigged out when I heard about swine flu. And my mind immediately went into self preservation mode. That lasted for three days and was then overcome with a brief period of mild panic as I learned that “swine” flu had possibly entered my home state of Washington. But then my journalism degree holding self preservation mode mind stopped to think about the reality. According to the CDC, “every year 200, 000 people are hospitalized from flu related complications” and “about 36,000 people die from flu-related causes”.

I didn’t tell you this to freak you out but those numbers are pretty high. Wait, those numbers are higher than what “swine’ flu is causing right now. Interesting.

Now, I’m not making light of a serious viral infection. I’m just trying to separate the wheat from the chaff. The big question is “Do I need to be afraid?”.

I guess I’m going to go with “No.”. That doesn’t mean I’m sticking my head in the sand. I’m still taking safety precautions. And if you’re like me then you probably are too. So since we all know the typical ways to avoid the flu (wash your hands often, drink lots of water, get a lot of sleep, stay home if you are sick) I’m going to introduce you to some alternative measures.

1. Yoga (specifically focused on one or both of the following chakras)

- The Root Chakra  – located at the base of the spine, this chakra is the energy center for our base needs. One of those is the need to feel safe. If you are worrying a lot about catching the “swine” flu or, if it’s presence is making you feel unsafe, then you would benefit from opening/unblocking the Root Chakra.

- The Heart Chakra – located in the center of your chest, this chakra is the energy center for love and healing. If you feel the need to help others who are sick or protect your own health this chakra would be a good one to open/unblock.

Also, a practice focused on purification could be helpful. Cleansing the body and the organs of toxins and impurities.

2. Stones

- Black or Deep Brown stones are connected to the Root Chakra. Wearing a black stone can help the wearer feel safe. (I’ve heard some very interesting stories about black stones physically repelling people who intend to do harm to the wearer/possessor of the stone.) If it works as protection, it stands to say that it could also protect you from illness. Or at least the worry and stress that can go along with a media storm like this. Some good stones to try would be Black Tourmaline, Smoky Quartz (good for absorbing negative energies around you), and Black Obsidian to name a few.

- Green Stones are connected to the Heart Chakra. Wearing or carrying around a green stone can help facilitate healing or support the health you already have. Good stones to start with would be Emerald, Jade, and Aventurine.

Don’t feel like wearing your stone. You can just as easily carry it in a pocket, or place them around your home.

3. Herbal/Alternative Medicine (Consult with your doctor or health care practitioner before trying any of these remedies.)

- The Neti Pot – Keeps the nasal passages clean by streaming a saline solution up and out your nose. This feels much more normal than it sounds, and feels amazing if you are really congested. (This can also help with allergies.)

- Shiitake and Reishi mushrooms can help stimulate the immune system. Add them to soup or stir-fry during the cold  and flu season. (Fresh or dried are both fine.)

- Garlic  -  Also a great immune system supporter.

- An Epsom Salt Bath will sooth muscles as well as remove impurities from the body.

- If you are already feeling sick  try making this tea (remember to check with your doctor before using this, especially if you are pregnant) . Combine 1 part dried peppermint, 1 part dried lemon balm, 1 part dried elder flowers and 1 part dried yarrow flowers. Ad 1 to 2 tsps of this mix to 1 cup boiling water. Ad fresh ginger (optional, this helps with chills) and let steep 5 to 10 minutes. Ad lemon juice and honey to taste.

There are too many other herbal remedies to list here. Thirteen that I know of. And some require more information when using. But it makes me happy to know that nature provides for us. The earth can be our healer too. It want us to be healthy. And I hope that I give it the same kind of respect and love.

I love Anthony Bourdain. If the folds in his chef hat symbolized his personality 99% of them would represent crass sarcasm. And 1% of them would hint at good time sincerity. Perfect. Just how I like all my food/travel shows. And while watching his show last night I felt like he had read my mind. In fact, my journal. The show was titled “Food Porn“.

Being a woman who loves her food and her carnal delights, putting the two together sometimes seems like a natural blend. But back up. I’m not talking about combining the two. I’m talking about replacing one with the other. Follow me back in time about a month…

I have a creativity board in my office (space). I pin up pictures, fabric, sticks, leaves, jewelery, and whatever else I can pin to cork board. I use it as a space to create moods and play with inspiration. And on this particular day the mood I wanted to create was sexual passion.

I thumbed for pictures through about 12 magazines (yes, I read a lot of magazines) and realized that I had found ONE picture. One! Not ready to give up I moved to a second stack of magazines and started finding pictures instantly. But wait. None of these pictures had people in them.

The pictures were all of food. A close up of deep red, steamed cherries in bourbon and phyllo dough, a picture of a hand gently swirling rich red wine in a glass, figs on a wood cutting board with melted chocolate. Are you feeling tingly yet?

When I stopped to think about it, it didn’t seem unusual. Is it possible that we have replaced human sexuality with food sensuality?

We all fall into some of the pattern behaviors. Favorite quickies at a taco stand, pho, or dare I say it…name brand fast food joints. Or perhaps your into Tantric: seven courses, drinks, bread, appetizers, salad, soup, main course and an explosively fabulous dessert. No need to finish with a cigarette, just have a wonderfully rich cup of bitter coffee. Or maybe you’re into something off the books, that hole in the wall foreign food place that you just can’t get enough of, but that everyone is sure you’re gonna catch something from.

And food, food you can enjoy in public. And in groups. And you can pay for when you aren’t getting enough at home. We’re encouraged to have it when we wake up, at noon and in the evenings. Hello. Yes please. And other bonuses may include but are not limited to: while feeling guilty the morning after there’s no fear of “oh my god, will this meal ask me for college tuition in 18 years?” or “will this meal ignore me at work or forget to call?”.

Back to my inspiration board. Are my only options for sexuality or sensuality Playboy or Gourmet? Well, at this point, my board remains half filled. The rest is left to my imagination.

What about you? Do you think we’ve replaced human sensuality with food? Or perhaps given food a more prominent and hallowed place in our society? Is this a problem?

I met a theory in a class my senior year of college that I wish I had known before I got out of high school. And in this situation, the early beginning of an economic downturn, I would like to take some time to reacquaint myself with it. And you, if you want. Although from the state of things right now, some of you may never have met this theory.

It’s official name is Personal Finance. I sometimes like to refer to it as “not so common sense”. It also goes by “You don’t really need that”, “Say no sometimes”, and “Put the credit card down sir. Nice and slow”.

This class taught me so many useful things (one of the only classes to do so) that I could fill several blogs with all of the info. But the theory that still sticks out in my mind today is a principle or building block equivalent to 1+1=2. Or really I should say 1-1=0. And that theory is….Budgeting.

I could have walked away learning nothing else from that class and been good to go. The formula I’m going to give you below is a pretty standardly agreed upon skeleton for making your own budget. You may find it referenced other places with slight changes, but they all work.

I’ve gone through and shown how it would apply with a $2000/month income. That is, after taxes have been taken out. (These percentages are not my own making. These are a generalization of what is considered safe and sensible standards for anyone’s budget.)

Budget  (with a $2000 monthly income)

Percentage of Budget spent on…                          $amount

Housing  30%                                                            $600.00

Transportation   18%                                                 $360.00

Food   14%                                                                $280.00

Debt   10%                                                                $200.00

Household   7%                                                        $140.00

Savings   10%                                                           $200.00

Everything Else   11%                                               $220.00

That doesn’t look so tight. Lots of breathing room right. Well, yes and no. Lets look at some of the possible items that fall under each of these categories.

Housing – Mortgage/rent, property tax, electric, water & garbage, home/renters insurance

Transportation – Car payment, gas, car insurance, oil changes & maintanence

Food – Groceries AND dining out

Debt – Student loans, credit card loans, personal loans

Household – Light bulbs, cleaners, yard maintenance, repairs, phone bill, cable bill, internet bill

Everything Else – entertainment, shopping, going out for coffee, dentist and doctor appointments, vet appointments, charitable donations etc……

Now obviously not everybody’s budget is going to fit into this nice and neatly. For example, financially it’s not wise to spend more than 30% of your budget on housing. But, if you live in a large city, you may have no other choice. And then what? Well, you need to readjust the pie chart. If you decide to pay $800 a month on housing, then what category(ies) are you going to take 10% away from? I’m guessing most of you will say savings. Please don’t. Try and split it between a few areas.

Being in charge of the finances for my family, I’m just as guilty as the next person of over extending my means. Needs that go into and beyond wants. But I’m determined to keep examining it. Tighten up any loose ends. Again. And readjust my ideas of needs.

I may or may not “deserve” more than I have. (That’s a discussion for a different time). But I certainly deserve and am worthy of not feeling stressed about trying to pay off or not being able to pay off my stuff/indulgences. And the current economy has reminded me (and hopefully the country) just how silly it is to try and maintain such an unbalanced position.

So here’s to a balanced budget and a balanced life. Now to make sure I don’t go to Nordstrom and charge those beautiful shoes I’ve been eyeing for the last few months.

]]> http://happymortal.com/2009/01/hello-pf-whats-up-long-time-no-see/feed/ 3 http://happymortal.com/2009/01/the-bravest-act-i-know/ http://happymortal.com/2009/01/the-bravest-act-i-know/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2009 07:23:33 +0000 pebble http://happymortal.com/?p=455

Many people sing the praises of amazing rescuers. People who run into a burning building to save a stranger, dive into a frozen pond to save a dog, or offer the last parachute on a crashing plane to someone else. And while these acts may not be résumé fodder for chickens I think there’s at least one act that is many times braver.

Tell the truth.

What? Tell the truth? That’s easy. Yeah, I thought so too. But the last several years have been teaching me that it’s not quite so easy.

Think about it. If you die saving someone from drowning, you’re the lady who died saving someone from drowning. Haven’t spoken to your parents in years. That’s okay, you were probably on your way to see them when you noticed the drowning person. And you were always an amazing daughter. Everything is erased.

And if you save someone from a burning building it doesn’t matter what you do after that. You’ll always be the guy who saved someone from a burning building. Get a divorce for no apparent reason. That’s okay, your wife probably didn’t deserve you anyway. You’ve got a clean slate.

But telling the truth. Hmmm. Try this. I was actually in the building when it caught on fire. I panicked and grabbed what I thought was my hockey bag full of Micheal Flatley Lord of the Dance dvd’s and ended up downstairs with a person. Uh yeah. Micheal Flatley dvd’s. Not quite as cool.

Or take it one step further. Mom, I’ve never felt understood by you. Dad, I don’t want to take over the family business. I was in the wrong when I got a divorce from my wife. Yes, I am particularly defensive when that topic is brought up. And I’m sure we could both think of several other items to add to the list. Truths that are hard to speak or express are not rare.

Not only is the act of telling the truth difficult, it rarely erases any of your past or future transgressions. In fact, it can make them appear worse.

Had a few extra drinks at the office New Years party. No big deal. Admit that you might have a drinking problem. Oops. There go your invites to any future parties. Never attend Wednesday night prayer meeting. That’s okay. Admit you might be an atheist. No more church positions for you. (But way too many visits from the pastor and the “well-meaning” deaconess). Realize you forgot your wallet at home after ordering your chai tea latte at Starbucks. It’s okay. Your friends got your back. Let it slip that you have a huge credit card debt and a shopping problem. No more free chai for you.

So why be brave and tell the truth? Why take such a large risk? Well, I’m not sure. I ask myself this all the time. In fact I’ve gotten pretty good at covering up my truths. Not just so other people can’t see them, but so that I can’t see them either. But this last year has been the beginning of me getting to know the truth again. And so far I’ve had moments of encouragement, sadness and sheer terror. And some other indescribable responses and reactions.

So is it worth it? Maybe. Depends on the day. But on my better days YES! YES! and YES! So for those days I’m going to keep figuring it out. Keep putting it out there. And I’m hoping to use this blog as a sounding board for part of that process.

No, No. I don’t need a medal. Or my picture in the newspaper. But if there’s any extra reward cash lying around I’ll definitely take that.

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