What $Money$ Can Buy
This financial meltdown got me thinking about all the things that money can actually buy. Here are a few, based on average costs in the U.S.
Life
- Artificial insemination: $500
- Heart Transplant: $4,400/yr health insurance premium
- Antibiotics: $90 (for 60 250mg generic Zithromax pills)
Love
- eHarmony subscription: $250/yr
- Speed Dating in NY: $35
Sex
- Life Size Anatomically Correct Doll: $6200 (including shipping)
- Sex with a human: prices vary
Death
- Remington Synthetic Shotgun: 79.99
- McDonald’s Big Mac: $3.29/ea in NYC
- Cave Diving Training: $350
- Iraq War: 341.4 million/day
After-Life
- Indulgences: prices vary (including cost of time travel to middle ages)
- Granite grave markers: $295
- Turning your remains into a diamond: $3,499-19,999
But don’t let all of this fool you folks, materialism is ugly and really detracts from what makes life worth living. So stop working so hard and go tell someone you love them (sending them flowers: $24.95).
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